


lie beside me

by vannral



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Banter, First Kiss, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vannral/pseuds/vannral
Summary: In which sleeping arrangements happen, and Caleb pines and suffers.





	lie beside me

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I'm not getting out of Critical Role and I just wanted to write some bed sharing trope with MINIMAL PLOT so this happened, pls be patient with me.

Caleb can feel a headache coming back. 

    "One bed?" he repeats, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You are telling me that you have only  _one bed_  in this very inn?" 

The lady behind the counter fixes him a flat, unimpressed look that conveys very well just how little she's actually getting paid for dealing with this. 

    " _Yes,_ that's exactly what I'm telling you", she huffs. "And it's not just  _any_  bed, it's the biggest bed we have, which can easily fit you and... a person of your choice." 

Well, isn't that subtle and just plain fantastic. 

(Caleb's headache is definitely back. What a stunning turn of events.) 

    "All right, _fine,_  I will take it", he sighs impatiently, pays for the room and stalks back to the group. 

    "I'm sorry, Caleb", Jester peeps, actually looking quite sorry. 

    "No, no, it's all right, don't - don't worry about it", he sighs, running a hand through his hair. "I will deal. Somehow. With the huge bed that I now have, apparently."

    "It's a big bed, though", Mollymauk says very slowly, which makes Caleb squint suspiciously at him. "Fjord can barely fit a regular bed for you humans, so I'd imagine that would be rather perfect for him." 

Fjord clears his throat. "Yeah,  _thanks,_  Molly, no need for that, now." 

    "Ooooh!" Jester squeals, her face lighting up in a way that really doesn't bode well for Caleb, who can suddenly feel dread pooling in his stomach. "Fjord!" 

Fjord, who probably feels the same, sighs. "Yeah, Jester." 

    "You can bunk in Caleb's room!" 

    "Not to really piss on your mighty genius idea, but Nott shares rooms with Caleb in case you forgot", Fjord points out  _very_  patiently. 

    "I can also not sleep in the same room as Caleb", Nott pipes up, waving her little arm up. "And Caleb takes very little space. Usually. So it's a big bed."

    "Yes!" Jester squeals and grabs Nott against her side. "You can bunk with  _meee ~ "_

Beau doesn't agree with this plan at all, and stammers: "Wait, you're throwing me out? What the hell, man, where am I supposed to sleep?" 

    "You can bunk in my room", Yasha drones like the whole conversation _bores_ her, but they can definitely see pink tint on her ears. 

Beau gapes at her, then flushes bright red. "That's cool", she chokes, almost reverently. "Awesome."

    "You're welcomeee", Jester sing-songs.

    "N - now hold up a bit, Jester", Fjord interrupts and crosses his arms over his chest. "None of us has asked what  _Caleb_  thinks about this." 

    "Um, yes, well...pfft. He's fine with it."

Jester sounds wholly unconcerned about that development. 

Caleb feels  _very_  concerned about this development. First, his heart is racing and he's half-dreading, half-longing for  _this_  particular aspect of room-sharing, then he feels completely like a selfish bastard, and then... _well..._

...it's such a bad idea. 

    "So, this means I have a room all for myself? That's fantastic", Mollymauk says, grinning. 

    "Watch it, or I'm sleeping with you", Jester threatens, a playful glint in her eyes.      

    "Well, someone's certainly ambitious", Mollymauk remarks amused, looking quite entertained by the idea, but is unable to hide the sincere affection in his voice. 

    "But I'm sleeping with you", Nott says, looking a little lost. "And I don't wanna sleep with Molly. Um, no offense." 

    "None taken. You all can piss off from my room. I'm not up for your shenanigans, dear." 

    "Don't be so grumpy, Molly! We can have a sleepover!" 

    "And you  _kicked me out?"_  Beau demands. 

Caleb thinks his headache has now developed into a migraine.  _Definitely._  
Fjord, much like Caleb, ignores the chaos unfolding in front of them and steps beside Caleb, leaning against the wall. 

     "So... what d'you think?" 

     "About sleepovers? No, thank you, I think I'm going to pass." 

      "That's not what I meant." Fjord clears his throat awkwardly. "About - y'know, me sharing a room with you. Would that be cool with you?" 

Caleb blinks. "I was under the impression you were not that excited about it."   
A notion that might have stung a little. (A lot if Caleb's being honest with himself.)

    "No, no, that wasn't the problem - I don't wanna throw Nott outside, that was my main concern." 

    "I'm - with Jester", Nott interrupts slowly, like she's mulling the idea over in her head. 

    "You don't have to, if you don't want", Caleb tells her. 

    "Don't let her pester you", Fjord adds. 

    "No, no, I know, but... I think I'll try. This sleepover...thing. Are you okay with that?" Nott asks Caleb curiously, her big yellow eyes flicking between Caleb and Fjord, apparently trying to determine whether or not it will end in a disaster. 

(knowing them, it probably will.) 

    "Of course I'm all right with it, you don't have to worry about me", Caleb says, ruffling the top of her hood. "Go have fun, okay?" 

She grins. "Okay." She skips to Jester, who is in full swing in planning the sleepover. 

    "You're really good with her", Fjord says, his tone very warm and impressed.  

    "I owe her a lot, and I want her to be happy." Caleb suddenly remembers  _why_  they are talking, and flushes. "So, um, you are all right with this new... um, arrangement?" 

    "'Course. Provided you are, I don't mean to impose."

    "You're not imposing anything, but...you are...not sorry Molly's sleeping somewhere else?" Caleb asks carefully and wants to kick himself, because  _seriously_ , can he  _be_  any more obvious? Honestly, it's getting rather pathetic.

Fjord's eyebrows shoot up. "Not at all, should I be?" he answers, his voice gauging, almost expressionless, and Caleb's face is burning.  _Way to go, genius._  

     "Um, no matter, it's all right", he hurries to say. 

It's really  _not all right,_  as he notices about half an hour later. 

It's the middle of  _winter._

It's absolutely  _freezing._  

And the room is very much suited for  _couples._

_Well, then._

Gods probably just hate Caleb. Fine. He will just have to deal with it by being in denial and ignoring it head-on. 

Refusing to feel awkward (and failing spectacularly), Caleb throws his bag somewhere on the floor, shrugs the coat off and decides to have a quick bath. 

(Not that Jester has won, absolutely not.) 

Finally clean of all the grime and blood and frost on his skin, he smells relatively nice and clean and returns to the room. 

Fjord's not there yet - and Caleb's stupidly relieved about that. He quickly dresses and lies under the blankets, feeling every bruise and exhausted ache in his limbs.  _Maybe I'll pass out before he comes in._

A coward's way. 

Caleb passes out. 

+

He wakes up suddenly when the door opens, and Fjord peeks in. 

    "Oh, sorry", he rumbles. "Didn't mean to wake you..." 

    "No, no, it's all right", Caleb slurs, pushing up to a sitting position, blinking slowly into the darkness. "What time is it?" 

    "You've been up here 'bout fifteen minutes", Fjord replies gently. "You okay?" 

In truth, Caleb can barely feel his toes and his teeth are chattering together. But he's getting warm. Maybe.  

    "Yeah, of course. Tad chilly, though."

    "It is pretty cold", Fjord agrees and Caleb feels the mattress dip down under the sudden weight. Fjord hesitates on the other side, on the edge of the bed. "You really okay with me bein' here?" 

It really must bother him, to ask this multiple times, Caleb thinks and turns to glance at Fjord. 

    "I would've said if I wasn't", he points out softly.  

    "No, you wouldn't have. You're too kind." 

    "Yes, I  _would've._  And I don't have a problem with you being here. Honestly." He falters. "If  _you_  don't...have a problem with me." 

Fjord's grin is soft. "Rough around the edges, yeah? I remember." 

The words cause warmth spread over in Caleb's chest, and he finds himself smiling back. 

    "That's one way to put it, yes." 

    "It's the way  _you_ put it", Fjord points out, amused. 

    "Oh, I did. But still, the point stands." 

    "Stubborn. And to answer your question, no, I absolutely don't have a problem with you. You don't have to worry 'bout  _that,_ Caleb, seriously. This is good." 

Flustered, Caleb turns to look at the ceiling. 

    "Okay. If... if you are sure. I mean, no one would blame you, if you left." 

    "That's silly, 'm not leavin'. Unless you throw me out, 'course." 

    "No!" 

    "Well, then I'm right where I wanna be." 

_Fjord's unfairly smooth, good gods._

    "Okay." 

    "You kickin' in your sleep? Hog covers? Somethin' like that?" Fjord teases him with such gentleness that Caleb has suddenly trouble breathing, because  _hello, they are sharing a big bed,_  and Caleb is very ill-equipped to handle this. 

    "Um, not that I...I know of? You are welcome to slap me awake, though, if I bother you." 

    "I doubt that'll be a problem. An' uh... likewise. Kick me to the floor if I make you uncomfortable in any way." 

    "...thank you." 

Comfortable silence falls, and with that, Caleb  _finally_  passes out. 

+

It's still relatively dark outside, when Caleb startles awake. His brain is sluggish and fuzzy, and he has absolutely no idea what has stirred him awake. 

Blinking slowly, he tries to focus, and just as slowly he remembers. 

Oh, it's the big room, and oh, it's - 

\- it's not cold? 

It takes a beat for him to realize exactly  _why_  it's not cold. 

Caleb's face turns bright scarlet in the darkness of their room. 

Apparently, somewhere during the night, he has snuggled closer to Fjord, because they are  _pressed_  against each other. There isn't even an inch of space between their bodies; Fjord's arm's slung on Caleb's waist as a heavy, comforting weight and Caleb's buried his head into the half orc's throat.

Caleb doesn't dare to move. 

_Well, then, this... is a problem._

A problem and very much  _not_ , and Caleb feels guilty, because  _oh gods, i'm not allowed to enjoy this, this is awful, Fjord will probably hate me if he wakes up now..._

Fjord's warmth soaks through Caleb's thin under clothes into his shivering skin, and despite all the conflicting, panicked emotions, he feels blissfully  _safe_  there. Safe.  _Good._

_(and he hates himself.)_

It's a sweet taste of something he'd desperately want, something he would like to cross over and  _reach, but -_

_\- you can't. He's not yours, he doesn't feel the same, so stop dreaming._

_Just stop._

Caleb's heart starts pounding violently against his ribs, so hard he's half-terrified it'll wake up Fjord. He must feel it, right, Caleb is practically  _vibrating_  with the force of the beats. 

    "Y'okay? Yer shakin'..." 

 _All right_ , Caleb wants to die. 

He stiffens in Fjord's embrace. "I'm fine." 

_One...two...three...fo -_

He can pin-point the exact second when Fjord realizes what's happening. Fjord tenses and flinches back like Caleb  _burns_  him, and it  _stings_. 

    "I'm sorry! My deepest apologies, I didn't mean - 'm sorry, Caleb - " 

    "You're rambling. It's fine. No harm done", Caleb answers stiffly and feels silly for being upset. It doesn't mean anything, it  _doesn't,_  and it's _overwhelming, and stop, stop, stop being so upset -_

It might show on Caleb's face, because in the very dim moonlight, Fjord actually looks frantic. 

    "Did I hurt you? D'you want me to leave? I can - please, just - " 

    "You don't have to go. You didn't hurt me. It's all right. I know you didn't mean it." His voice wavers, ever so slightly on the last word. 

Fjord doesn't move. "Now, that's not - " He draws a deep breath. "Am I makin' you uncomfortable?" 

Caleb's knuckles turn white. "No", he says quietly. "You are not. Quite the opposite in fact. If _I_  made you uncomfortable, then please, you are more than free to leave. Please do. It's fine - I - I should've been more careful with myself, you didn't deserve - " 

    "What? H - hold up a moment, Caleb - this isn't your fault. I made you uncomfortable, I overstepped - " 

    "No, you didn't. My feelings got the better of me and you are obviously not on board wi - and that's fine, absolutely fine and your right and - " 

    "Your  _feelings?_ Caleb - " 

Out of breath and slightly wild in his exhaustion and panic and heartbreak, Caleb twists the blanket in his hands and says: "I quite like you, in fact. There. Now you can return to Molly - " 

Fjord kisses him so hard their teeth clack together. It's desperate and rough; Fjord's large hands frame Caleb's whole head and  _it's so warm, and -_

Caleb kisses back, barely comprehending that this is  _actually_  happening. 

_It is happening. Oh._

The kiss turns to hot and hungry, tongues meeting in the middle, and Caleb thinks  _dying_  like he's  _wasting away_  must feel like this, but this is  _glorious_  and raw and  _real._ Finally they part, out of breath and just inches away from each other. 

    "Was - was that okay?" Fjord rasps, his voice deep and  _wrecked._

Caleb blinks. "It was more than okay. Um... you - mean it?" 

    "Course I mean it. I've been pinin' for ya for  _weeks_  now", Fjord grumbles, but runs his thumb gently on Caleb's cheekbone. "Made it pretty hard for me." 

    "Hard, huh?" 

    "Har har, ain't you funny.  _Yeah._ Hard. So, uh... you like me?" 

It sounds so awkward that Caleb laughs breathlessly. "Yes, I think that's one way to put it. I do like you." 

    "Romantically? 'Cause I'm romantically very interested in you. And uh, in the...the other way too, if you are interested in that, as well." 

_Gods, is this really happening? Somehow miraculously?_

Caleb laughs again, leaning to rest his forehead against Fjord's. "Yes. I am, as it happens." 

Relief spreads on Fjord's face. "Okay, awesome, thank you." He presses a slow, sweet kiss on Caleb's lips, and it's the most amazing thing Caleb's felt in a while.   
They don't come down till noon. 

(Mollymauk collects the bets with a smug smirk.)

**Author's Note:**

> Once again if you see any grammar mistakes please tell me, not a native speaker! Thank you, you're all amazing! :D


End file.
